To the Editor,
I got hungry the other day and decided to go get some take out so I headed to the local fast politics joint. It was all dressed up in patriotic colors with lots of white and red but very little blue. Well, tis Texas. After meeting the requirements and showing a state issued photo I.D., I pulled into the preferred customer express lane. There were several cars in front of me so I had to wait to place my order.
My attention was drawn to what seemed as a Battle Royale occurring in the station wagon adorned with RNC and Baily Circus ahead of me in line. There was a lot of noise coming from it and people were on the roof collected the hot air rising up with Make America Great Again ball caps. Focusing further, I could see six people in the car, but no driver. WTH? There was one kid inside who kept insisting that he was not of the car but anointed to drive yelling at another kid with funny hair who said he said he was winning and nobody but people like him could drive and they have to pay for the car yelling at a kid who was with his mother (but not his brother) who was yelling at another kid who was saying the same thing over and over while drinking water. Still another kid was telling the others how he was going to drive like he drove a smaller car sitting next to another kid who just mumbled and looked out the window. After listening to this for a while, I was getting a headache and needed some civilized, intelligent debate on the issues pertinent to our daily lives in a calm setting so I pulled out my cell and watched some past episodes of Jerry Springer.
Finally it was my turn to place my order. I looked at what was offered on the menu board a while. A placard said to get the True American Constitutional Meal Deal that was so good that it guaranteed that it would be exactly what you needed and nothing in it would be left. Then the clown on the sign who was known as the Speaker asked me what I wanted. I asked him what was in the meal deal. He said “Trust me, It’s all good for you. Just push the R on the key pad.” I looked at the picture on the menu and said what the heck and pushed the R. My total came up with a option to contribute to the One Percent Help Us Build More Franchises and Create Jobs Political Action Commitee or also known as the Congressional Friends of America Lobbying Group. I thought and declined. The Speaker said that’s OK, you’ll pay for it later and please drive to the last window.
After I got home with my meal I emptied the bag and found out that what was inside was not exactly what was pictured back on the menu board. So I read my receipt and at the bottom was a disclaimer stating the the contents of the bag may not be exactly as pictured previously. Along with the effects of this purchase may last for four years or longer and no refunds given on the R special. Then they added a special franchise entitlement tax for taking my order.
After a few days of indigestion and having a constant empty feeling, I finally got my appetite back and was getting hungry again. Having nothing left in my pantry after spending $132.19 at the express lane at the supermarket, I decided to get more take out. I don’t now where I’ll go but sure know where I won’t. Better hurry though, the debates will be back on and I’m tired of watching that boring Jerry Springer.