"I want to assure the people of Puerto Rico that I have never solicited nor accepted a contribution in exchange for a government contract, never permitted the illegal use of public funds nor acted illegally." Puerto Rico Gov. Anibal Acevedo Vila after being charged with campaign finance violations that carry a penalty of 20 years in prison.

"I can't say just how it came to be in the St. Clair River, but I can assure you that there aren't any sharks with 3-inch teeth living there now." Michigan State University paleontologist Michael Gottfried on the discovery of a megalodon tooth in the river by a snorkeling teenager. The megalodon became extinct 2 million years ago.

"The last time that I checked, a nipple was not a dangerous weapon." Gloria Allred, an attorney representing a Texas woman who says federal security agents forced her to remove a nipple ring with pliers before she was allowed to board an airplane.

Copyright 2008 The Associated Press.