To the Editor,
Planet earth was caught completely off guard on Dec. 22, when once again the sun rose in the east and alarm clocks around the world went off as scheduled. The ancient Mayan prediction that the third rock from the sun would cease to exist on Dec. 21 didn’t come to fruition, proving the Mayans were no better at predicting our extinction than they were their own.
This is really bad news for the millions of people that put their full faith in the Mayan doomsday vision. They maxed out all of their credit cards before July and have been making the minimum payment every month. Millions more rushed out in October and bought expensive new vehicles, knowing that the first payment wouldn’t be due until January. And then there are those that now wish they could take back the statement of “take this job and shove it” that they delivered to the boss at the close of business on the 20.
Many others will find a silver lining in the globe’s continued rotation. Iran will be able to continue its progress toward the nuclear destruction of Israel, instead of losing the opportunity to an apocalyptic event not of its own creation.
Jihadists around the world will be able to remain on course with terrorizing anything good, decent and democratic. A majority of Americans will be elated in knowing that all the government free stuff will continue for at least another four years or until everyone else’s money runs out, which ever comes first.
As for me, my silver lining shines in hues of simpler luster. The increased odds that I’ll get to see the grandkids grow up, and the lesser odds of seeing the Texas Rangers win another pennant without Young and Hamilton.
But maybe best of all, the used car lots will be overflowing with almost new one owner, low mileage luxury cars at bargain basement prices.
Thankfully, our glass in the universe remains in one piece, and it’s still either half full or half empty depending on how you look at it.